“Healing on the Hill -Return to Vietnam”
In 1999 a group of Vietnam veterans and their families returned to climb Hill 376 where their comrades had died 30 years ago to the day. Viewing permission granted by WDAY News, Fargo, ND.
Fernando DePierris was a chopper pilot during the Vietnam war. He helped to organize this return trip to Hill 376.
My Dear Vietnam Veteran,
When you left for the Vietnam War 30 years ago, you were so young, so proud, so handsome. We did not want you to go, but we knew it was your duty. While we thought that we could handle things very well back here, we sort of over estimated our strength without you! Missing you, and the concern about you made life nearly unbearable at times.
Remembering dinner invitations at family or friends, we could not eat…we felt guilty, because you could not join us and have the same home cooked meal!
As the weeks went on, more and more relatives, friends, neighbors, husbands, fathers, sons and daughters were called to this senseless war, in this far away land called Vietnam. Soon we would hear more and more often of so and so’s husband, (your buddy) had been killed there. We were in shock and sorrow over and over again. We started hating the soil that our men and women fell on. We grew more tense and fearful of losing you. We were in fear that we could never hold you close again, in fear of you never seeing your children grow up.
As time went on, our lives and chores became more and more difficult. Our nerves became tightly wound like clock springs. We sat and prayed for you and wrote you a letter every evening to tell you all the “good” things about the day, and we hoped to give you strength to hold out your tour of duty. While we (my soldier wife friends and I) waited on your letter that we so much looked forward to. We knew that you would tell us about another buddy falling to enemy fire. You would tell us his last words…or about a ripped off arm or leg of his …or would we even get another letter from you…ever again?
With time we grew wearier and more and more hateful of that war in that far away land. We really didn’t do our chores back here well at all anymore. As the fears for your life grew we started protesting. We grew angry. We wanted you home and wanted to be near you. We did not want to lose you, but so many of us wifes did lose you in one way or another! When you came back, you were not the same. If you had your health, you had lost the sparkle in your eyes. This faraway land called Vietnam, the witnessing of your buddies (our friends) mutilation and blood shed had changed you forever!
We too had changed, we went through a year of pressure, fear, and loneliness with the lack of understanding for this horrible war. We grew resentful and cold. We wanted you back so badly, but some of us just could not bond anymore.
Those of you ‘Dear Honorable Vietnam Veterans’ who came back expecting, but not getting the hero’s welcome you so deserve, please forgive those of us back here who didn’t give it to you. We just no longer knew how to do it – because this far away war…had taken it’s toll!
With Love,
Just a Vietnam Vet’s Wife
(30 years too late)
Renata S. DePieirris