One of the things that I think the military does well but in the long run it affects veterans when they come home is that they trained you to act on a situation not to think.
If you think you get killed. You know if you think about something you get killed.
So something happens. This is how you are to react to it. This is what you do. And if you’re thinking about…let’s think about the situation now. You can’t do that. There’s not enough time to do that. You’ve got to act. Every situation requires an action and you’ve got to act right away.
I jumped him. I went right for the throat
But when you come home and you get rid of the military clothing, then become a civilian. Now you know, you want to think not act.
A good example is, I extended my tour, I went back for six more months. So I got a 30 day leave anywhere in the free world. I come home to Lebanon, Pennsylvania, my my hometown.
My mom and I were throwing a party, all my relatives were there and all my friends were there and my mom and dad were there.
My mom and dad start arguing about something. I don’t know what it was. I saw my dad like brush his hand on top of my mom’s head.
I jumped him. I went right for the throat, went right for the kill. That’s training.
I was a perfect example. They trained me right.
Wow, you know! I mean I was not thinking, I was acting. And so I was a perfect example. They trained me right.
Then of course my uncles pulled me up, my brother pulled me off my dad and I thought I don’t belong here. I can’t function here. I’ve got to get out.
You know I went outside. I walked around for about an hour or two and you know so for the rest of the 30 days I didn’t do anything but sit home, watch TV, and eat, and sleep. That’s it. Because I knew I didn’t want to be in any situation where I would do something that would be harmful to somebody else or me.
I mean no thought process, just act. You see a threat. You go try and resolve it. That’s what they train you to do.
So just that’s one of the problems. You know the readjustment was so hard because one moment you’re in combat, next move your home.
Your home and your like in the civilized world where none of this stuff is the same. It’s day and night. How do you survive that? That’s hard. That’s hard on on your mind and in your thought process. What do you do?
That’s sad.