My children and myself are collateral damage of the Vietnam War. Both from the suffering of my husband, Dan, with daily PTSD and chronic pain syndrome from profound neuropathy as well as denial of the government to acknowledge his contribution with VA benefits.
Dan was 19, when his number came up and he enlisted with a friend to be sent to Vietnam. During his time there he witnessed terrible atrocities to children and elderly causing nightmares and flashbacks that persist today. When he finished his 12 month assignment with honors and returned to Fort Hood, he was essentially suffering from what is now termed moral injuries. Unable to find anyone to speak with within the military and upon finding that he was to be trained as a machine tank gunner and sent to the Middle East, he took refuge in Ithaca N.Y. with the Catholic community. He was unable to return to the Army for this assignment because of what he felt were moral reasons in addition to severe PTSD.
Three years later he enrolled in Ford’s amnesty program and was granted an honorable discharge . In the 30 years since, he has worked as a well loved and exemplary physician’s assistant at the VA in Maine helping his brother’s in arms. He also helped the Maine Humanities start a literature and medicine book club that brought staff together to read books such as, ” The Things We Carried” and “Achilles of Vietnam.”
He received many awards for his work but was forced to retire at age 60 due to severe pain from peripheral neuropathy, quite possibly caused by Agent Orange exposure. It is said that anyone who stepped onto the ground in Vietnam was exposed.
The pain he experiences limits everything in his life.
When finally able to psychologically seek help for his PTSD and for further diagnosis of peripheral neuropathy, he was told that he was not eligible for services from the VA due to the having only served 14 months.
These are the 14 months that destroyed my husband’s life and caused myself, his daughters, his grandchildren and his siblings to become collateral damage because my husband has been unable to connect fully or let us into his life due to the memories and experiences he cannot escape from. The pain he experiences limits everything in his life.
There are treatments for PTSD and chronic pain syndrome as well as disability compensation for Agent Orange and help with equipment and modifications to homes. There is knowledge to be gained for his family regarding the sequelae of exposure.
Should he lose the appeal that he is currently submitting to Washington, the damage will continue.
I share this story to remember the long reaching affects of war and to bring attention to the legacy of moral injuries.