Every time I visit the wall, which I have done several times, I come away with conflicting emotions. Sadness, guilt and gratitude!

I was a college graduate when I was drafted in 1966. Basic training at Fort Gordon, Georgia and selected by an US Army Major to be his systems analyst assistant at the Pentagon because of my degree in Mathematical Statistics and knowledge of programming languages.

I had two jobs for 22 months while serving in the Joint Staff as an Analyst (Spec-5 after 20 months). My wife and I lived in an apartment in Arlington, Virginia.

I would often be the target of protesters or people, even friends

First, I maintained the charts in the war room for the Joint Chiefs of Staff. These charts depicted the significant statistics of the ongoing conflict in Southeast Asia. Data like force structure and numbers, KIA/MIA numbers, aircraft sorties and losses, etc. These consisted of a dozen or more charts for both friendly and enemy statistics.

Secondly, I did statistical projections of aircraft losses by type to feed to the senior officer for providing estimates of production replacement needs.

Memories of that period are include the fact that if I wore my uniform when I wasn’t at the Pentagon, I would often be the target of protesters or people, even friends, who directed accusing remarks about my “cowardice” for not refusing service!

I always felt that I was serving my country in the best way I could by helping to keep the reality of the conflict in the eyes of those who had to make military decisions. Maybe that’s a rationalization, but that was my choice, and it has affected me! I don’t broadcast that I’m a Vietnam Era Veteran because people might assume I served in a war zone, but I am proud of my service!

Today’s service men and women get grateful feedback from all directions, and they certainly deserve it!

So why do I have the sadness, guilt and gratitude? Sadness for the young lives wasted and families affected! Guilt for having been safe and out of harm’s way, in relative comfort, while so many of my contemporaries served in a war zone enduring life threatening situations and hardships! I was even awarded a Joint Service Commendation Medal! Gratitude for my good fortune and in hindsight the learning experiences I had by being so close to very senior decision makers when I was young and inexperienced.

I am thankful for those who speak out against what they perceive as wrong!

My lasting memory is of a protest that I believe occurred in late 1967 or early 1968 with the march on the Pentagon. The building was surrounded by soldiers every 10 feet or so while protesters chanted anti-war slogans! That period stands as a beacon of why this country is great!

America survived and grew stronger because we preserved our constitutional rights during a period of great social unrest. Yes, the country was divided over our presence in Vietnam, but protests were allowed, politicians had to listen and the country learned many lessons!

Today, the country is divided in many ways, but my experiences lead me to believe that today’s differences will lead to a stronger USA, because of the constitutional rights we live under and support! I am thankful for those who speak out against what they perceive as wrong! That includes everyday citizens, politicians, newspaper people, military personnel and business leaders!

That’s what living in The United States of America is all about!