My experience in Vietnam began in the spring of 1967. I had been in the Navy for four years, 1960 to 1964, and had been honorably discharged. From September 1964 until April of 1967, my life went through several phases, some not very good for me or my family. Eventually I ended up in Denver, CO, broke and without much hope for change. It was really one of the lowest periods of my life. I worked as a mechanic and gas station attendant most of the time, making minimum wage and falling farther behind in all aspects of life. My car got repossessed for non-payment, I was drinking a lot, and life really began to go downhill. In some of my more lucid moments, I remembered that during my time in the Navy, I at least had a place to stay, clothes to wear, and some money to spend. I knew from news reports that the war in Vietnam was beginning to escalate, and I was also aware that the military was interested in anyone with prior service.

in the Navy, I at least had a place to stay, clothes to wear, and some money to spend

One afternoon I went to the Navy recruiting office and made a casual inquiry. Much to my surprise, they were very interested and offered to allow me to re-enlist. I would have my E-5 rank back, and I knew I would be on my way to Vietnam if I did. It took me a few weeks to wrap-up my life in Denver, and I re-enlisted in the U.S. Navy in April 1967. After getting a new “sea bag” and going through induction in San Diego, I got my orders to report to the Commander Naval Forces Vietnam (COMNAVFORV) Headquarters, in Saigon and was assigned to the Coastal Surveillance Force (CTF-115), in June of 1967.

Prior to leaving for Vietnam, I received orders to Naval Base Coronado for Counter Insurgency (CI) Training. This included weapons training at the US Marine base at Camp Pendleton, CA where I learned to disassemble, clean, reassemble and fire the 45 cal. pistol, M14 and 16 rifles, 12 ga. shotgun, the M-79 grenade launcher, and how to properly throw a hand grenade. I also saw demonstrations of the M-60 and 50 cal. machine guns. This was followed by SERE (Survival, Evasion, Resistance and Escape) Training at Warner Springs, CA. All of this training was designed to prepare me for the possibility of being captured or being injured by booby traps. It proved to be quite useful after I got in country, because it allowed me to see and evaluate places and conditions in order to avoid harmful situations.

After completion of my training, I was sent to Travis Air Force Base outside of San Francisco, California. It was quiet and reserved as we all knew we were headed to the hostile fire zone. The flight on a commercial airline was uneventful, making a stop at Clark Air Force Base, Philippines, where we changed planes and spent the night, eventually landing at Ton Son Nhut Air Force Base in Saigon, Vietnam.

The next thing I remember is being awakened by an irate petty officer

We were quickly moved through processing, and taken to a holding barracks just outside the air base. I was both scared and exhausted and suffering from jet lag. So after being assigned a bunk, I went to sleep fast. I remember waking up at some time and saw the flares that were dropped all night so the Army could keep track of the VC (Viet Cong). I was still very tired, so I went back to bed after an hour or so. The next thing I remember is being awakened by an irate petty officer who had come after me from the command I was supposed to report to that morning. It was about one in the afternoon! In trouble the first day! After getting dressed and being taken to the command headquarters, I was able to explain my situation to the officer in charge and he was considerate of my plight and did not make an issue of it. As my year in country went on, this officer and I became good friends.

Life in Saigon became routine after a week or so. I lived in one of the hotels with two other Navy guys. We were all from different commands, so had rotating hours and duty responsibilities. My primary responsibility was being the lead communications petty officer, operating and maintaining the various radios and teletype machines which gave us updates on the situations in the field. Each morning this information was consolidated to create the daily operation report for COMNAVFORV, Admiral Kenneth L. Veth. I was also one of the drivers responsible for picking up and delivering the men and officers as they rotated watch hours. So I was on the streets of Saigon at all hours of the night and day.

Shortly after I arrived, several of us were selected to go to a new detachment in Cam Ranh Bay, to live in tents and to set-up and operate a remote communications post for CTF-115. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it.  Shortly after we got there, and before we had time to get settled, two of us were asked to volunteer to go back to Saigon and man the command center there. It didn’t take more than two seconds for me to volunteer. So I was flown back to Saigon, spent most of the “war” in the capital.

One of the temporary duty (TAD) trips I took was when two Naval enlisted personnel on Hon Khoai (Pouli Obi) Island, located 10 miles off the very southern tip of Vietnam were due for rotation and their replacements had not arrived yet. They were part of a team of four naval personnel who manned a radar site for the Coast Guard, looking for gun runners making their way to the coast with weapons for the VC. I flew in the belly of a S-2 Tracker, and when we stopped for fuel at Can Tho in the Mekong Delta I saw Viet Cong prisoners of war (POW’s) being processed before being moved to holding camps.

We flew on to An Thoi Island where we boarded a Coast Guard cutter to ride to Pouli Obi Island. The ride was rough, but we made it ok. After we arrived at the island, we checked in with the Naval Advisor and learned we had to walk up the 1500 foot mountain with all of our gear. We had personal items, M-14 rifles and lots of ammunition, side arms and ammo also. It was hot and humid, and the climb was a test of our physical conditioning. Once at the top of the mountain, we joined the two other Navy guys, joined the watch rotation, and assumed our duties. During our time there, we detected and reported several contacts that turned out to be gun runners, and saw the chase and explosion when the runners would not stop and the Coast Guard was forced to fire at them and explode the weapons and ammo they had on board.

we were the Coast Guard’s “eyes” at night

We were perched at the very top of the mountain, and the area around us was cleared for 50 yards down all sides so no one could sneak up and engage us in a fight. Our electricity was from a large generator powered by diesel fuel, so we needed to get periodic helo drops of 55 gallon barrels of fuel to continue our mission. These drops also provided us with water and food. There was no place for the helo to land, so they would get as close as they could, then push the stuff out the back and it would crash to the ground. Not everything survived the fall, but we made do with what was left. We only had electricity at night, because we were the Coast Guard’s “eyes” at night.

One humorous thing happened during our several week stay on the island, in one of our food drops, we got a case of steaks! There was an old Vietnamese woman who cooked and cleaned for us and who spoke NO English. We were all looking forward to a juicy steak dinner that night, and we tried to help her understand how to cook it. She nodded and went off to prepare the evening meal. Much to our surprise, she had taken the steaks and cut them into bite size pieces and stir fried them Vietnamese style!! It was good, but not the juicy medium rare steak we wanted.

After spending three weeks on the island, we returned to Saigon in mid February, after the majority of the Tet offensive was over and things were somewhat back to normal. For the next six months, living in the city became routine. Eat, sleep, stand watch, tour the city and restaurants and enjoy the people. Occasionally, I would get the opportunity to visit some of the orphanages around Saigon. It was depressing to see so many children affected by the war, and to realize that they had little hope of things getting better anytime soon. We provided what we could in physical and emotional support for them, and they were appreciative of it all.

The weather in Vietnam was typical sub-tropical. I had arrived in mid-June, and it was hot and humid, and the monsoon season had just started. It typically rains 10 to 12 inches a month from June through October, with temperatures in the upper 80’s during the day, and the upper 70’s at night. With that much water, the mosquito population was huge! We were required to take our malaria pills each day. Sometimes I missed them but I never got sick. The worst problem I had during my year in country was a severe ear infection. I loved to swim at the local hotel pool, and I knew that they did not keep it as clean as they should. But after work on those hot days, a cold beer and a swim was just the ticket.

I bought a motorcycle while I was there. They were very cheap and did not require license or registration. It was a 50cc Honda, and allowed me the freedom to explore the city of Saigon. Because of check points, I could not go into certain sections, but was allowed to tour most of the city. It was and still is a beautiful Asian city, bustling with commerce. I enjoyed stopping at the local restaurants to have my meals. Although I did not speak Vietnamese I could make my requests know through sign language and smiles. I learned to drink the local coffee, which is strong and sweet, and enjoy the local soup called Pho’, eaten with a small loaf of French bread.

it reminded me that I was in a war zone

Toward the end of my tour, late April to mid-June 1968, I got very cautious. As I prepared the Admiral’s briefing each morning, listing the KIA’s (killed in action) it reminded me that I was in a war zone and might not make it back to the States alive. I stayed in my hotel room, and only went out to eat and go to my duty station.

Coming back to the states was a shock to my system to say the least. Today they would say I was a candidate for PTSD. The morning we left Saigon, 100+ of us boarded a commercial jet, complete with stewardesses, food and drinks, to begin our journey to Travis AFB in California. Because of the likelihood of being shot at with RPG’s (rifle propelled grenades’), we made an almost vertical ascent out of the airport! But the feeling of excitement and joy of leaving the hostile fire zone soon erupted into cheers and laughter as we leveled off and began our flight home. We stopped in Narita, Japan to refuel and because of the time change, arrived in Travis about an hour before we left!

It was a strange sensation

It was a strange sensation to not be carrying a weapon or being dressed in combat fatigues or being a foot taller than anyone else on the street and being able to understand everyone talking around you. We spent the night in Travis, and the next morning traveled by bus to San Francisco. Getting off the bus in downtown San Francisco introduced me to the prevailing culture on the late 1960’s. Boys with long hair, girls dressed as hippies, and the smell of marijuana in the air. The stories of Vietnam vets being spit on and jeered at did not happen to us.

This however is not the end of my story. I retired from the Navy as a Chief Petty Officer in December 1982, and began a career in private industry as a Senior Engineer at a defense contractor facility in State College, PA. After 10 years, I was called into full time Christian service as a Medical Missionary in 1993. My job was not in medicine, but in logistics and team management.

I made peace with myself and the Vietnamese people

In 1999, I was asked to lead a team to Vietnam for a two week medical project. With some fear and trepidation I accepted, and eventually returned to Vietnam five times in the next six years. It was during this first trip that I made peace with myself and the Vietnamese people. Another vet was part of the medical team, and he and I helped each other come to understand our feeling and emotions about the war. And each time I went back, I recruited one or more vets to go with me. I saw in them the same healing I experienced as they dealt with their “stuff.”

It took me many years before I could go to the Wall in Washington, DC. Although I was not engaged in field combat operations, living and working in Saigon was no guarantee of survival. The emotional stress of not knowing who the enemy was or when a situation would develop that could cost you your life, resulted in all of us having some degree of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Even today I get very emotional when I talk about or watch anything related to the war.

And to wrap it all up, I did watch the entire Ken Burns series on PBS about the war. I now have a fuller understanding of how we got into the war, the mistakes and decisions that resulted in 58,000 + men and women getting killed, and why myself and thousands of other Vietnam vets continue to deal with the aftermath of our time in country.

Will I ever be healed? I don’t really know what healing would look like, and only time will tell.

Douglas E. Kelly, EWC, USN, (Retired)